Thought Bubble #42

Eventually, you have to accept the theory that your parents had sex.

Thought Bubble #41

The first rule of rabbit holes: when you’re in one — admit it.

Thought Bubble #40

Intelligent Design is defeated by one fact. Men have nipples.

Thought Bubble #39

What’s the worst sin, according to the Bible? Falsely teaching the Bible.

Thought Bubble #38

The Left is right. But we’re left with the Right.

Thought Bubble #37

Nobody expects a pink donut!

Thought Bubble #36

How will we know when abortion rights opponents are taken seriously? When we celebrate our conception day, instead of our birthday.

Cartoon #244: “Cheney Hunting Accident”

This was my reaction, and I think the reaction of the most politically savy Texans upon hearing about Deadeye Dick Cheney’s little mishap with a shotgun. The history of the Texas Armstrong family will be the most underreported aspect of this story, including its politically influencial daughter-in-law, Anne, and the relationship between the Armstrong family and the Bush Crime Family. There is also the related story of Bush’s other hunting companion, close friend and confidant, William “Will” Stamps Farish III, whose family has ties to companies that helped sponsor the Nazis. The Bushes have an annual hunt on the Farish’s Beeville, Texas ranch.

Sydney Blumenthal wrote the following in his column, “Shoot First, Avoid Questions Later”:

Katharine Armstrong is linked to two family fortunes — those of Armstrong and King — that include extensive corporate holdings in land, cattle, banking and oil. No one in Texas, except perhaps Baker, but certainly not latecomer George W. Bush, has a longer lineage in its political and economic elite. In 1983, Debrett’s Peerage Ltd., publisher of “Debrett’s Peerage and Baronetage,” printed “Debrett's Texas Peerage,” featuring “the aristocrats of Texas,” with the King family noted as the “Royal Family of Ranching.” The King Ranch, founded by Richard King in 1857, is the largest in Texas, and its wealth was vastly augmented by the discovery of oil on its tracts, making the family a major shareholder of Exxon. The King Ranch is the model for Edna Ferber’s novel of Texas aristocracy, “Giant.”

John B. Armstrong, a Texas Ranger and enforcer for the King Ranch, founded his own neighboring ranch in 1882, buying it with the bounty of $4,000 he got for capturing the outlaw John Wesley Hardin. In 1944, almost inevitably, the two fortunes became intertwined through marriage. Tobin Armstrong’s brother John married the King Ranch heiress, who was also a Vassar classmate of Tobin’s wife, Anne, who came from a wealthy New Orleans family....

While the incident continues to unfold, the Bush administration is pressing a new budget in which oil companies would receive what is called “royalty relief,” allowing them to pump about $65 billion of oil and natural gas from federal land over the next five years without paying any royalties to the government, costing the U.S. Treasury about $7 billion. For Texas royalty like the Armstrongs, it would amount to a windfall profit.

The curiosities surrounding the vice president's accident have created a contemporary version of “The Rules of the Game” with a Texas twist. In Jean Renoir’s 1939 film, politicians and aristocrats mingle at a country house in France over a long weekend, during which a merciless hunt ends with a tragic shooting. Appearing on the eve of World War II, “The Rules of the Game” depicted a hypocritical, ruthless and decadent ruling class that made its own rules and led a society to the edge of catastrophe.

Thought Bubble #35

How will we know when women are considered equal to men? When men bikers normally ride on the rear of motorcycles driven by women.

Thought Bubble #34

Jesus of Nazareth was born in about the year 3761, according to his calendar.

Thought Bubble #33

Hip-Hopscotch.

Cartoon #243: “Cartoon Prophets”

Muslims have been staging demonstrations against some cartoons, first published in a Denmark newspaper last September. The allegedly sacrilegious editorial cartoons have been republished in other newspapers since then, and in recent weeks, to show support for freedom of speech and freedom of the press.

Please note one of those demonstrations in particular. Thursday, Muslim religious students in Multan, Pakistan burned an effigy of Denmark’s Prime Minister Andres Fogh Rasmussen (Associated Press wire photo published Friday, February 3, 2006).

What’s wrong with this picture?

First, Muslims interpret Muhammad’s teachings as strictly prohibiting any depictions of humans or animals. If pictures of the Prophet Muhammad are strictly forbidden, how do Muslims know when he is being depicted? If they accept such a picture as a blasphemous image of their holy leader, they themselves are committing the sacrilege they despise. They somehow believe it is Muhammad’s image, and believe the image to be sacred — which is idolatry.

Second, Islam’s prohibition against images of people (in this case their beloved prophet) is reportedly the main reason for their anti-cartoon protests. It is blasphemy (not to mention hypocrisy), therefore, for Muslim religious students to create an effigy.

Third, the demonstrators are posing for the cameras (still and video), instead of repelling the infidel photographers. By posing, each protester is a co-creator of his own forbidden portrait.

Some government leaders in Muslim countries are also wondering about these so-called protests. A report on National Public Radio’s Morning Edition, Monday, noted that officials intend to investigate the possible influence of “outside” (read U.S.) Intelligence behind the demonstrations.

Thought Bubble #32

With the first bite of ice cream, adults’ faces recall their childhood appearance.

Thought Bubble #31

Today is forever — literally.

Cartoon #242: “Bush-Abramoff Photos”

The Bush administration refused last week to publicly release five White House photographs showing Bush posing with Jack Abramoff and his family. Abramoff peaded guilty to bribing Republicans in Congress. Though Bush denies knowing him, suspicions remain that Abramoff was as chummy with Bush as he is with several other administration officials.

Yes, I know this cartoon would be funnier if Abramoff was presenting Bush with a giant check. But Al Franken thought of that joke first.

Cartoon #241: “Hamas”

The Palestinian elections resulted in the landslide election of the radical militant group Hamas. The Bush administration called them a terrorist group and threatened to cut off financial aid unless Hamas renounced armed violence and the destruction of Israel. The Bush foreign policy has again shown that democracy in the Middle East is a simplistic policy at best.

Cartoon #240: “Google Privacy”

Today’s google editorial in the Austin American-Statesman said it best: “In short, government lawyers aren’t looking for specific instances of wrongdoing or even suspected wrongdoing, they just want to poke around in Google’s electronic desk drawers to see what’s there. That’s a classic example of a government fishing expedition and a most inappropriate use of subpoena power.”

Cartoon #182: “Rare Bird” (Bin Laden)

Heeeeee's Baaaaaaaack... and so is this cartoon

Cartoon #239: “Perry Intelligent Design”

Texas Governor Rick Perry announced on Jan. 5, 2006, that he supports teaching Intelligent Design (ID) in Texas schools as an alternative to scientific evolution. You’re not fooling anybody, Rick. In 2003, Perry called for Texas to help finance the decoding of the bovine genome because it would benifit the Texas cattle industry. When he needs to be a Darwinist, he’s a Darwinist. When he needs to push ID, he’s an IDiot. It’s really about money and power. But there is one thing Rick Perry will always be: an Aggie.

Cartoon #238: “Strayhorn Switch”

Republican Texas Comptroller Carole Strayhorn (her latest married name), former Democratic mayor of Austin, announced Monday that she was switching political affiliations again. This time she is running as an independent candidate. She announced last September that she was a gubernatorial candidate. Carole is the mother of Scott McClellan, President Bush’s press secretary, and Mark Barr McClellan, Bush’s head of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services Department of Health & Human Services. Their father was her first husband, Barr McClellan, who wrote the book, “Blood, Money and Power: How L.B.J. Killed J.F.K.”